(Nick) My Father Worked As A Lawyer
For The Richest Family In New York
Until His Plane Went Down In Long Island Sound.
He Left Me His Biggest Client, The Darlings...
Tripp And Leticia... Which Of Our Children Isn't Mine?
I'll Tell You, But You've Got To Promise Me Nothing Will Change.
Brian, The Man Of God... I Lied To My Wife And Daughters Last Night.
I Told Them That You Were An Orphan.
Do You Really Believe His Name Is Gustav?
Patrick, The Principled Politician,
Karen, The Professional Divorce..
Nick Proposed To You? When We Were 19. Why Didn't You Tell Her?
Nick Is My Past. You're My Future, Okay?
And Jeremy And Juliet, The Well-Behaved Twins.
That's Your Girlfriend?!
She Was My Best Friend In The Whole World,
And I Hate Her Guts. I'm Pregnant.
I Think My Father Was Working For Someone Called "C."
You Think Simon Elder Blew Up Your Father's Plane?
As Nirgol Geoe?
Yeah.
Simon Elder.
Want To Go For A Ride?
Yeah, Sure.
So, Nick,
The Police Contacted Me, On Your Behalf, In A Sense.
I Assume That's What You Wanted Them To Do
Given The Materials You Found In Your Dad's Briefcase, Right?
But You Are Simon Elder, One Ofhe World's Richest Men.
I Didn't Think They'd Actually Get You On The Phon
No. They, Uh, They Came To My Office.
Detective Larrabee, I Believe.
But Listen, I'd Have Done The Same Thing
If I Were In Your Position, Nick.
No Hard Feelings. So Did You Know My Father?
Sure, I... Listen, Everybody Knew Dutch.
To Get Anything Done In New York City, You Had To.
Well, I Guess I'm Asking If You Knew Him Better Than That.
If You Did Some Sort Of Business With Him? Because...
You Know, I've Been... I've Been Following Your Career
From A Distance For Many Years Now.
Yeah?
Yeah. And I've Always Felt That... That We're Cut
From The Same Cloth, You And Me. In What Way, Exactly?
Well, We're Both Trying To Take The Advantages
We've Been Given In Life
And Share Them With Those Who Are Less Fortunate.
That Sound Like You? Yeah, On A Good Day. (Laughs)
(Laughs) Sounds Like Me, Too, On A Good Day.
Dryton, Stop The Car, Please.
Listen, Nick, I Would Love To Talk To You
About Your Dad And The Darlings,
But I Gotta Catch A Flight Right Now To Haiti.
We're Giving Away
10,000 Free Laptops To Schoolkids Down There,
And Installing Free Wireless All Over Port-Au-Prince.
Totally Your Kind Of Thing. So If We Can Do Dinner,
I Know This Great Little Russian Restaurant In Brooklyn.
If This Sounds Interesting To You,
Have Your Secretary Set It Up.
No Pressure.
Okay.
A Church Ceremony Is Out.
But, Brian, You Promised Me You Would At Least Try.
I Did.
But... For Some Reason, The Bishop Felt That
Using The Chapel For Your Fourth Marriage
Would Just Be A Little Bit Insulting
To The Rest Of The Marrying Public.
Okay, Fine. We'll Have The Ceremony Here.
So Are We Done? 'Cause I Have To Get Home
To My Wife And Kids For Dinner.
Oh, And That Cute Little Orphan Boy, Too.
Yeah, Oh, Baby, I Been Thinking About My Bachelor Party,
Maybe Taking The Plane To Cuba With The Guys.
You In? Yeah, I'm In.
Really? My Minister Brother Is Gonna Go To A Bachelor Party?
Really? No, Not Really.
Sweetie, I Don't Think... I Don't Think Daddy
Wants You To Take The Plane Again.
Jet Fuel Doesn't Grow On Trees.
Karen, You Just Took The Plane
To Los Angeles Last Week For Sushi.
Right. It's Just, I-I Think Daddy Doesn't Want...
Some People To Take The Plane Again...
This Month. But, Baby, Gotta Have A Bachelor Party.
It's Tradition.
You Know What, Sweetie? Hmm?
I'm Gonna Take Care Of This.
(Brian) Well, Today's Bible Children's Story
Is...
Ah, There It Is.
"Kindness."
No, That's Not The Reading For Tonight.
It Is. It Says So Right Here.
No. See, That's... For Tomorrow Night.
Well, Mommy's Been Reading Ahead.
Read Tonight's, Brian, Otherwise Everything Gets Off.
Okay, I'll Read Tonight's.
"Honesty.
"Of All The Sins That Hurt God's Feelings,
"Lying Is The Worst Of All.
"In Big Ways And Small Ways,
"Lying Eats Away At The Heart God Gave Us
"And Leaves Us Empty And Sad.
"If We're Going To Be Happy And Go To Heaven,
We Have To Tell The Truth."
Well, I Don't Think
We Have To Tell The Truth All The Time.
I Think There Are Importt Exceptions.
But... I... These... These Are Good Thoughts.
These Are Definitely Good Thoughts.
(Lisa) So You Think Simon's Lying?
He Said He Didn't Know My Dad Very Well,
But I Think He Did.
I Think He Was "C."
From Your Dad's Planner, All Those Mystery Appointments?
Yeah. What Makes You Think So?
His License Plate. It's Just The Letter "C."
Seemed Kind Of Like A Fit. Why Would He Withhold That From You?
I Don't Know, But I'm Gonna Try And Find Out.
I'm Having Dinner With Him Later This Week. Thank You.
You're Welcome. Hey, What Happened To That Painting Above The Fireplace?
It Was On Loan From The Gallery, And It Sold.
You Gonna Replace It With Something? I Don't Know.
I Thought I'd Take A Walk Through Chelsea Tomorrow.
See If Anything Leaps Out At Me. All Right, Go For It.
Sounds More Fun Than What I'll Be Doing Tomorrow. What Are You Doing Tomorrow?
Mm, Lisa, It's Just Another Day Of Me Implementing
My Immense Knowledge Of American Jurisprudence
Instead Of Doing My Charitable Work. Meaning?
I'm Settling A Dispute Between The Twins
About Who Can And Can't Come To Their 25th Birthday Party. Natalie Kimpton.
She's Not Coming To Our Party.
H-Have You Even Read The Bill Of Rights Lately?
The First Amendment Clearly States "Free Assembly."
That Means I Get To Invite Whoever I Want, Right?
She Betrayed Me And Stole My Twin Brother. No! Dude.
Look, Juliet, Your Birthday Party
Is The Premier Event Of The Season. I Am Aware Of That.
And There Are Already Over 700 People On The Guest List.
You May Not Even See Her. Yeah, But She'll Be There, Like A Bomb,
A Stink Bomb Waiting To Go Off. U Know What?
Radically Fed Up With Your Crap About This. Yeah? Well, Get In Line.
It's My Party. Na. Lie' Ming Uh...
Fine, Then I'll Have My Own Party. Fine, I'll Have
(Both) I Get The House. Uh...
You Take It. You... You... You Take The House.
I'll... I'll Find Someplace Cooler,
And No One Will Come To Your Party. (Scoffs) No One Will Come
You Know What? This Could Work Out.
I'll Split The Million-Dollar Budget... Whoa, Whoa, Are You Crazy?
We Can't Split The Money.
I Can't Throw A Party For 500 Grand. Neither Can I,
Nick, It's Economies Of Scale. Do You Even Know
No, But You Know What I Think I Mean,
And That's What Matters. We Need $2 Million. We Need $2 Million.
$2 Million? My God. For Parties.
Reckless Endangerment.
They're Just Kids Having Fun.
Those Kids Are About To Inherit
$25 Million Apiece, And They Know It.
I Mean, Call Me Crazy, But That Makes Me Expect
A Little Restraint On Their Part. $25 Million?
It's From My Father. It's A Trust.
It's To Give Them A Start In Life.
It's Their First Checkbook.
Patrick Bought A Summer House Up In Maine.
Karen Invested Hers.
I Mean, Smart Kids.
Brian Traveled The World For Three Years.
But These Two...
What Can I Say?
They Are Different.
So... What Do You Want Me To Do?
What Is Your Opinion?
Well, I Think That $2 Million
Is An Awful Lot To Spend On Birthday Parties.
Exactly.
That Said... It's Your Call.
Honestly, Nick, These Aren't The Sorts Of Decisions
That Tripp And I Are Accustomed To Making Together.
This Was... Well, This Was Always Dutch's Purview.
He Knew When To Let Kids Run Wild.
He... He Let Life Be Life.
That Is Foolishness.
But, You Know... Do What You Want.
Okay. I'll Take Care Of It.
And Nicky, Nicky.
We're Always Here. We're Always Happy To Help.
You Haven't Told Nick Anything, Have You?
About What?
About The D.N.A. Report?
No.
Are You Planning To?
I Have No Intention Of So Doing.
Come In.
What's The Matter?
I Need To Tell You Something.
Well, Whatever It Is, You Can Tell Me.
I Don't Want To Go To Hell.
Well, I Don't Think
There Are Very Many Children In Hell, Gustav.
Yeah, About That...
My Name's Not Gustav.
No?
What Is It?
Brian.
Brian Jr.
Is My Husband...
Your Daddy?
(Jeremy) $25 Million.
That's $5 Million For The Wedding.
We'll Have It On Capri.
Oh, I Love Capri.
The Blue Grotto.
Yep. And $5 Million For The Honeymoon,
Which Will Be, Like, A Year Of Us
Just Bumming Around.
We'll Go Surfing With Kelly In Tahiti,
Follow The Tour For A While.
Can We Go Rio? Mm-Hmm.
And That Leaves $15 Million For You...
Me...
And Little Baby-Gee.
Mwah.
So Have You Decided Where You're Gonna Have
Your Birthday Party Yet?
I Have.
And I Friggin' Guarantee That If I Can Swing It,
No One, And I Mean No One... (Laughs)
Is Gonna Show Up To Juliet's French Farce At Home.
Mm.
Mm. Mm. Hey.
What?
I Can't Hurt The Baby, Can I?
When We Do It?
Well, I Mean, You Are Quite A Man, Jeremy.
You're Quite Formidable.
But I Think The Baby's Gonna Be Fine.
Just, Uh...
Just Making Sure.
Well, It Would Just Mean The World To Freddy
If He Could Have His Bachelor Party At Tehnbrook Like You Did,
But He Can't Unless He's A Member.
Karen, The Tehnbrook Is The Most Prestigious Club
In The City. And We're The Darlings.
Is Freddy Planning On Changing His Name To Darling?
I Hadn't Heard.
Pat, Please Just Make It Happen.
Where Has That Nicolai Gotten To?
He Is Driving You Today, Correct?
Where Is That Little Dickens? Oh, My God. You Don't Think Freddy's Good Enough, Do You?
Good Enough For What? Nicolai!
You Don't Think He's Good Enough
To Be A Member Of Your Precious Club. Well, To Be Honest,
Freddy Isn't Exactly The Average Member.
Never Thought You Had Much Of A Taste
For The Average Member.
Oh, What Does That Mean? Your Special Friend.
The One With The Low Voice And The Eyeliner?
Wh-What...
What... What Are You Talking About?
Don't Worry, Pat. I Would Never Tell.
Give Ellen My Best.
Yeah.
Hello. Is Nick Available, Please?
Uh, He's With Jeremy.
Oh, What Is He Doing, Planning His Doofus Party?
(Whispers) Where Is He Having It?
I Really Don't Know. I'm Sorry.
You Can... You Can Go In If You Want.
(Normal Voice) No, Thank You. I'll Just Wait There.
Okay.
(Jeremy) Six Open Bars, Dim Sum,
Steaks, A Pinkberry Station... Nats Loves The Stuff...
And A Band And A Deejay.
Well, That Sounds Very Reasonable.
I Applaud Your Restraint.
What Can I Say? Love Changes A Man.
It Brings Him Down To Earth.
You Must Have Gone Through A Similar Ing
When You Guys Had Kiki. Kiki?
Yeah, I'm Sure You Had To Re In The Strippers And The Blow
When That Little Bag Of Baby Candy
Was Coming In From Heaven.
You Know, Jeremy, Are... Are You And Natalie
Already Talking About Starting A Family?
We're Talking About What To Name The Munchkin, Dude.
She's Pregnant? (Gasps)
Don't Yotell Dad.
I Don't Want Him Paying Her Off Like He Always Does.
I Like This One. Jeremy, Are You Sure You're Ready?
Having A Kid's A Huge Responsibity.
I Mean, I Know. I Know It's Gonna Be A Lot Of Work.
But I'm Ready To... I'm Ready To Change.
I'm Ready To Be Sensible.
Okay.
And I Want To Have My Party On The Brooklyn Bridge.
Yeah. No, Seriously.
(Brian) It Was Crazy. I Know That. I'm Sorry.
Who's The Mother?
Her Name Is Andrea Smithson.
How Did You Meet?
She Came Tsee Me One Day For Counseling.
Who Made The First Move? Oh, Come On. What, Are You Trying To Punish Me?
Who Made The First Move?
I Did.
And When Did It End? Or Has It?
I Stopped Seeing Her, Like, Over Three Years Ago.
And Why Is Your Son Suddenly Here?
Because She Wants Him To Be A Darling.
And You Made The Boy Lie.
I Didn't Want To Hurt You.
I'm Sorry. I Really Am. I'm Sorry.
Please Just Give Me Another Chance. Please.
You Made Your Choices. Now I'm Making Mine.
I Want A Divorce.
(Tripp) The Brooklyn Bridge?
Yeah. Made Some Calls To The Mayor's Office.
I Got Hung Up On Twice. Why Does Jeremy Do This?
Do What?
Concoct Impossibilities.
I Wish... Just Once,
That He Would Come To Me And Suggest Something Concrete,
Simple, Small...
Achievable.
Well, Until That Day Comes, I Did Some Asking Around,
And We're Talking At Least A Million
Just To Close Down The Bridge, Tripp. Lordy Zaffy.
Add To That Another Million For The Party Itself
And The 1.6 Juliet's Already Spent,
It's Starting To Look Financially Pornographic.
It Also Doesn't Bode Well
For Their Future,
Given The Challenges They'll Face Soon As Adults.
You Think We Should Shut 'Em Down, Huh?
Actually, Yeah, I Do.
No.
Let 'Em Run.
Why, If I May Ask?
I Don't Thk They're Ready For This New Life Yet.
What, The $25 Million, The Trust?
Yeah, I Want You To Draw Up A Document
That Delays The Vesting Of The Trust For Five Years.
You Let Them Hang Themselves With These Birthday Parties
To Prove Your Point.
What Would You Suggest?
I'd Sit Down With Them,
Talk Through Their Spending On These Parties.
I'd Get Them To See How They Could Be More Responsible,
How They Could Spend Say, You Know, $500,000
And Still Have A Good Time.
I'd Teach Them.
Won't Work, Nick.
It's Too Late.
Let Them Have Their Fun Tomorrow Night.
And Then When The Smoke Clears,
They'll Have Time To Reflect Upon Their Choices
And...
Yeah, Reflect.
Regret.
(Nick) Um... (Lisa) You Don't Like It.
Well, Lisa, It's A Painting Of Two Ants.
It's More Than Two Ants.
Is The Third One Invisible?
Oh, That's Funny.
The Surrealists Used Swarms Of Ants
To Represent Consumption, And Here, The Artist...
Robert Russell... Who Is Very Popular Right Now,
Depicts These Two As Individuals.
They're The Redemption Of The Species.
(Laughs) Yeah, Well, At $6,000 An Ant,
They Better Be. You Said Go For It.
Yeah, I Know. I Just Didn't Know
This Is What You Were Gonna Go For. Okay, You Want Me Toake It Back?
I'll Take It Back. No, Of Course Not. I Just... Look, I Mean,
If Juliet Darling Can Spend $1 Million On This Birthday,
There's No Reason Why You Shouldn't... You're Equating Me With Juliet Darling?
No, I'm Not. You Know What? That's Not Okay.
I'm Just Saying It's A Lot Of Money For Two Ants. It's Not A Lot Of Money For Us.
It's Just Infuriating.
She Finds These Guys... I Don't Know Where...
She Scrapes Them Off The Bottom Of Her Shoe.
That's Enough Talk Like That About Your Sister.
I Just Wish Karen Would Walk In With Someone
That I Could Learn From, Someone That I Would Feel Lucky
To Get To Know.
I Share Everyone's Awareness, Statednd Unstated,
That Karen Has A Tendency To Marry Low,
But I Humbly Submit That The Effort Required
To Make A Space For Freddy At The Club
Would Be Well Worth It.
Everyone Has Their Foibles.
I Wonder If That's Why She Wants To Have Lunch Today.
Excuse Me. What Did You Say? Well, She Called Yesterday,
Asked If I Wanted To Have Lunch At Pastis.
I Hope This Isn't What It's About.
That Would Be So Uncomfortable.
(Sighs) Pastis.
So Not Only Ise Dumb Enough To Fall In Love With Natalie,
But Then He Goes And Gets Her Pregnant.
Ugh.
Oh, Excuse Me.
Is That Really The Way They Did Women's Toenails In 1789?
(Woman) Yes, Ma'am.
(Clicks Tongue) Perfect.
Wait, Astrid. Slow Down. I...
What?
Are You Sure?
But Why Would She Need A Tampon If She Was Pregnant?
(Whispers) Oh!
What Are You So Afraid Of?
I'm Not Afraid Of Anything, Karen.
I Just Don't Want You To Hurt Ellen's Feelings
By Sharing Information That Would Hurt Her Feelings,
That's All.
You Sound Confused.
Honey, I'm Just Going To Lunch With My Favorite Sister-In-Law.
The Idea That I Would Ever Want To Hurt Ellen's Feelings...
I Mean, What Would That Get Me? Really, What?
You Screw Up My Marriage, And You Screw Up My Campaign.
You Screw Up My Campaign,
And You'll Have Dad To Deal With.
If You Don't Get Freddy Into The Club,
You'll Have Dad To Deal With.
As Far As Your Campaign Goes, I Like New York The Way It Is.
Oh, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. Okay. Karen, Okay.
I'm Gonna Try To Get Freddy Into The Club, Okay?
I Can't Promise Anything.
Can't You?
Can't You Promise?
Guess What.
We've Got The Brooklyn Bridge? We Got The Brooklyn Bridge.
Oh, Ansimon Elder's Office Called.
You Are Confirmed For Dinner Tonight. That's Good To Know.
Oh, Brian Darling's Here To See You.
You're Gonna Be Hearing From Mei Ling Hwa's Attorney.
She's Filing For Divorce. She Found Out About Brian Jr?
Yes. How'd That Happen?
God's Holy Word.
I'm Sorry.
I Want You To Be Ruthless With Her Lawyers.
I Want You To Make It Clear That She Is Not Gonna Get
Anything More Than She Was Promised In The Prenup,
Not An Extra Cent.
I Want You To Make Sure That They Know
That I Am Gonna Fight For The Children And W,
And I Want You To Make Sure... That She Knows
That I Am Going To Crush Her!
Okay, Note To Self..."Crush Her."
I Made A Mess Of Everything.
What The Hell Is Gonna Happen To Me?
Brian.
Brian, Everything Is Going To Be Okay.
Every Marriage Has Its Rough Edges.
Oh, What Do You Know, Mr. Perfect?
Hey, Brian, Do Me A Favor.
Don't Insult Me When You're Asking For My Help.
Look, Here's What We're Gonna Do.
We're Gonna Wait, And We're Gonna See
What Mei Ling Hwa And Her Attorneys Do.
And In The Meantime, I Want You To Go Over There
And I Want You To Ask For Another Chance. She Won't Give Me One.
Probably Not, But You Obviously Care Too Much
To Just Walk Away
And Strike A Bunch Of Angry Poses.
And You Have Children With Her.
I Know. I Miss Them Already.
I Feel Like A Part Of Me Is Missing.
Then Go Over There And Ask For Another Chce.
Okay?
Yeah, Okay.
I'm... Sorry I Called You Mr. Perfect.
It's Okay.
You Are Kind Of Insufferable, Though, With Your Happiness.
Brian.
Okay. (Chuckles)
Okay, I... I'll Go Talk To Her.
Good Luck.
Hey, Juliet. What's Up?
We Need To Talk. Look, Juliet,
The Refrigerated Trucks Are Gonna Be There
With The Chocolate Aristocrats On Time. This Is Not About The Chocolate Aristocrats.
It's About My Brother.
Jeremy, We Need To Talk.
Oh, Nice Work On The Bridge, Dude.
Man, I Knew You'd Come Thrgh.
See, This Party Is Gonna Be So Sweet.
I'm Gonna Have My Peeps, My Baby Mama.
Jeremy, Sit Down For A Second.
What? No Pinkberry.
Nick, You Gotta Get Her Pinkberry.
She Loves It. No, No, No, No. This Is About Natalie.
I Don't Think She's Pregnant.
(Scoffs) What... What Are You Talking About?
Has She Given You Any Proof?
I Don't Need Proof.
W-Where Is This Coming From... Jules?
Yeah.
She Said That Astrid Said
That She Gave Natalie Tampons Last Wk At Twinkle.
Natalie Would Never Go To Twinkle.
Jeremy, Are You Listening To Me?
Natalie's Using Tampons. She's Not Pregnant.
Nick, Juliet Is Lying.
She's Lying To Hurt Me, To Get Back At Nats. Jeremy, I Know
That Natalie And Juliet Have Their Differences,
But I Also Know That Your Sister Loves You.
She Loves Herself. She Loves You, Too.
And I Don't Think She'd Make Something Like This Up.
I Don't.
Just Ask Her To Take A Pregnancy Test.
No. No, I Hate Tests.
I'm Not Gonna Test Her. It's Lame.
Okay.
I'll Just...
I'll Just Ask Her To Her Face.
And Her Answer Will Be Good Enough.
All Right.
(Nick) Hey, Lisa, Where Did The Painting Go?
You Made Me Feel Guilty, So I Took It Back. Well, I Didn't Tell You To Take It Back.
Not In So Many Words, No. Well, Go Back And Get It.
I Want You To Have It If You Want It. I Do. No, You Can't Do That.
You Can't Make Me Feel Bad About Buying A Painting...
I'm Sorry. And Then After It's Gone,
Pretend Like You Wanted Me To Have It.
That Is So Controlling. Well, I Have To Go Have Dinner With Simon Elder.
Be Careful, Nick. I Will. Good Night.
Good Night, Dad. (Sighs) Did You Really Return It?
Yep, And It's Okay.
(Juliet Squeals And Laughs)
Happy Birthday.
Oh, Bridget, Thank You.
Look At These Presents. (Gasps)
Oh, Wow. Look At These Cakes. Oh, My God. Oh.
(Guests) Happy Birthday!
Oh. Oh, My Gosh.
Oh, My God.
Look Who's Here. Ryan Casdale.
I Personally Invited Him Myself.
Ladies.
Looking Particularly Lovely This Evening...
Your Majesty.
Thank You.
Oh, My God.
If I Tell You Something,
Do You Promise Not To Tell A Single Soul?
Sworn To Secrecy. What?
Tonight, Ryan Is My Gift To Myself.
(Whispers) Tonight's The Night.
You're Gonna Do It With Ryan?
(Normal Voice) No! I'm Gonna Kiss Him...
Oh.
Which Is Just As Important And Equally Dangerous.
Hey. (Laughs) Sorry, Excuse Me.
Hey. Come On.
(Music Continues)
I'm Not Really In The Mood.
Oh, What's The Matter, Germs?
You've Been Lame All Night.
Maybe I Need A Drink.
Maybe You Need Two.
(Nick) This Was All Over My Dad's Planner...
The Letter "C"...
Meetings Arod The Country, Sometimes Around The World.
Is That You? Are You "C"?
Yeah, That's Me.
So Was He Working For You In Any Capacity... My Dad?
What Was Going On?
We Were Friends, Nick.
We Were Creative Conversation Partners.
He Gave Me A Lot Of Wise Counsel... Your Father.
About What?
About Being Crazy Rich, Among Other Things.
See, I Was Raised In Russia With Nothing.
And Nothing In Russia
Is A Lot Less Than Nothing In America.
A Year After Coming Here To The States,
I Made My First $100 Milli, And That Nearly Destroyed Me.
See, When Starving People Gorge Themselves,
They Usually Die, Yeah?
Mm-Hmm.
I Almost Did.
What Saved You?
A Spiritual Experi
It Involved Your Dad, Actually.
Maybe I'll Tell You About It Sometime.
But For Now... Uh, No, For Now Let's Talk About You.
I Want To Make This Work,
With Brian Jr. And The Girls And You.
That's My Family...
Our Family.
For Seven Years, You Lied To Me
While I Shared Every Detail Of My Life With You.
I Shared Myself.
I'm Sorry.
I Felt Trapped.
I Love You So Much.
And Once I'd Made The Mistake,
I W... I Was Just Too Scared To Tell You The Truth.
I Don't Want To Hurt You.
You Can Resent Me And You Can Ignore Me,
You Could Throw Things At Me If You Want, But I...
I Just... I Want Another Chance.
(Whispers) I Need One.
I Want You And That Boy Out Of This House
Until I Figure Out What To Do.
Thank You.
It Must Kind Of Rock,
Having Your Own Party For The First Time,
Not Having To Share It With Your Slut-Magnet Brother.
Yeah, It Rocks.
In Fact, I Haven't Even Thought Of Him
Till You Mentioned Him Just Now.
Oh, My G.
That Bitch.
Thanks For Being A Friend.
Happy Birthday, Baby.
Happy Birthday To Yourself.
Juliet, Wait Up. What's The Matter?
Everything.
Everything In The Entire Little, Lonely Lying World.
Oh, Where Are You Going?
I'm Gonna Find My Brother.
Come On. Everyone Is Here For You.
Let Them Eat Cake.
So Are You Pregnant Or Not?
Just Answer The Question.
The Question Doesn't Even Make Sense.
Juliet Said You Bummed Two Tampons Off Astrid
Last Week At Twinkle.
(Scoffs) Please. I Would Never Go To Twinkle.
Natalie...
Just Tell Me To My Face That You're Pregnant.
Come On. Look Me In The Eye.
* Bring It On What You Got *
* Tonight, You're My Dart *
* She Says,"Keep It Tight" *
I Thought I Was.
* You Sure What I Did *
And Then I Wasn't, I Just Kept... Not Telling You.
I'm Sorry.
(Music Continues)
Just Stay Away From Me.
(Simon) So All Those Darling Millions
You Have For Charity...
How's That Going?
I Haven't Had The Chance To Put Together An Infrastructure.
I-I Don't Want To Be The Guy Who Just Writes The Checks.
I Want To Be Involved,
And I Haven't Had The Time To Make A Start.
The Darlings Are Keeping You Too Busy, Huh? That They Are.
Your Fathe...
The Last Time We Talked,
Said That When He Looked Back On His Life,
He Realized That The World Of Money
That The Darlings Gave Him Access To
Made Him Lose Track Himself,
Lose Track Of His Life.
And He Lost Your Mom And Then You
In The Whole Bargain.
He Said This To You?
Word For Word.
He Hated The Fact That You Two Had Such A Ruined Relationship.
What Did My Father Do For You?
Tell Me. I Know You Haven't Told Me The Whole Truth.
So Just Tell Me. Well, All He Really Did,
All He Had The Chance To Do In The End Was, Uh,
Agree With Me About The Nature Of Privilege
And The Call To Social Responsibility.
He Was Just About To Turn The Corner, Ni.
He Was Gonna Stop Working For Tripp Darling
And Come Work For Me.
Then His Plane Fell Out Of The Sky.
You Think Tripp Killed My Dad?
I Think You Need To Start Giving That $10 Million Away.
And If You Can't Find The Time To Do It,
Then You Should Come Work For Me.
Finish What Your Father Started.
There Are Lots Of Ways To Lose Your Life, Nick...
All At Oe Or One Day At A Time.
Yeah, Yeah, Listen Up, Everybody!
(Juliet) Jeremy!
Thank You All For Coming Tonight.
Jeremy!
I Have Something To Say To Everyone. Aah! Jeremy.
Some Of You Came Here Tonight For The Free Booze, Right?
Yeah, Right. Right (Cheers)
Some Of You Came
Hoping That You Might Hook Up.
And Maybe Some Of You Came 'Cause You Actually Like Me.
I Like You. I Like You.
I Don't Know. I Don't Know.
You See, Uh... (Chuckles)
See, That's The Problem With Having All This Money
And, Uh, And Spending It Like This On...
Aah! Jeremy!
On Things Like This.
Aah! (Whispers) Jeremy.
You Never Know!
(Normal Voice) No, No.
All Right, Hit It, Pillowhead.
("All By Myself" Playing)
* When I Was Young *
* I Never Needed Anyone *
* And Makin' Love Was Just For Fun *
* Those Days Are Gone *
* All By Myself *
* Don't Wanna Be *
* All By Myself *
* Anymore *
(Sirens Wailing) Oh, Here Come The Peace Officers.
Well, I Had Them Dust,
And, Well, Change The Sheets,
But Other Than That,
It's Exactly The Way You Left It.
Who Was The Second Bunk For?
Oh, That Was So Your Father Could Have Friends Sleep Over.
Yeah, That Really Worked Out.
You Know, There Are Other Rooms That You Could Stay In.
Why Don't We Open Up The Sixth Floor?
No. If Mei Ling Hwa Ever Comes To Visit,
She'll Want To Make Sure I've Really Suffered,
And This'll Do Just Fine. You Know, It's An Odd Feeling,
Having All The Children Back In The Building,
Under The Same Roof.
Yeah. We're A Regular "Little House."
In A Way, It's As If We're All...
Getting Another Chance.
It's Like Backgammon, Brian.
You Live Your Entire Life,
And Then When You Least Expect It,
You're Suddenly Thrown
All The Way Back To The Beginning.
But That's Not The End Of The Game.
I'm Very Happy You're Here, Pumpkin.
(Laughs)
See You Both In The Morning For Breakfast.
Okay.
Sorry I Got You In Trouble.
You Didn't Get Me In Trouble.
You Did The Right Thing.
Nice Room.
(Laughs) Thanks.
(Tripp) We Sent You To The Finest Schools.
Provided You With Every Conceivable Advantage,
And This Is How You Thank Us,
With A $2-Million Brooklyn Bridge Bacchanal,
Where You, The Host, The Guest Of Honor,
The Birthday Boy
Had To Be Forcibly Removed By The Police. I Screwed Up. It's What I Do.
I Had To Get Nick Out Of A Business Dinner
To Deal With This Nonsense.
I Was Just Finishing Up, Actually.
Well, That's Not The Point.
He Has Done Nothing With His Life
Since He Left College Except Disappoint Me.
I Know.
I'the Worst Thing That's Ever Happened To You, Dad.
I Know. Instead Of Choosing To Learn,
Instead Of Working Hard At A Job To Achieve Something,
All You've Done Is Seek Out Celebrities
To... To What, To Borrow An Ounce Or Two Of Their Glory?
"Justin Timberlake"?
"Ethan Hawke"?
Who Are These People?
All Right, You Know, Are We... Are We Done Here?
Because, Uh, Your Loser Son, He's Feeling A Little Tired.
He'd Like To Get Some Rest.
Oh, Far Be It From Me To Waste Your Precious Time.
You Know, We Should Not Just Delay The Payout Of That Trust.
We Should Terminate The Damn Thing. You're Delaying My Trust?
No, I'm Revoking It Entirely.
Let's Not Be Hasty. You Know What? I Don't Care.
You Go Ahead. You Go Ahead And You Postpone It.
You Give It Away. I Don't...
I Don't Friggin' Care As Long As I Get Out From Under You.
I Wish That I Could Be Someone You Loved, Dad.
I Wish That, But I Can't. I Can't. I Can Just Be Me.
Know That's Not Good Enough For You.
(Sniffles) I'm Sorry.
(Sighs)
I Suppose You Think This Is My Fault.
That If I Had Just Sat Down With Him...
I Am A Bit Puzzled, I Have To Admit,
How You Can Yell At Him For Being Irresponsible
When You Refuse To Be Responsible With Him.
This Is Between Jeremy And Me.
No, It's Not. (Sighs)
Because I'm Here To Tell You What's Wrong.
It's Wrong What You're Doing To Him, Tripp.
You're Trying To Scare Him Into Being Who You Nt Him To Be.
Is That What Money For,
To Scare People, To Control Peopl
You're Losing Jeremy, Tripp.
You're Losing Him One Day At A Time.
You Could Wake Up One Morning And Find Him Gone.
I'll See You Tomorrow.
You And Natalie Together
Was Like Drinking Orange Juice After Brushing Your Teeth.
Yeah, And She's The Orange Juice. Mm-Hmm.
Can You Imagine Her Mothering A Child?
What An Unbearable Thought.
What Should I Do About Dad?
You Should Just Apologize. He'll Understand.
Yeah, That's Easy For You To Say.
He's Giving You Your $25 Million. No, He's Not.
I Told Him I Could Wait Five Years.
I Threw A Party For $1 Million Last Night,
And I Had The Worst Time Ever.
I Can Wait.
You Ever Think Things Would Be Better
If We Weren't So Incredibly Loaded?
You Mean You Wish We Were Poor?
Not Starving With Flies On Our Faces,
Just A Little More Normal.
Well, I Think You Can Be As Normal As You Want To Be.
But I Think You're Pretty Spectacular.
And You're Gonna Do Spectacular Things.
(Sighs) What Time Is It?
It's 9:00. I Let You Sleep In.
I Got Up Early, Made Kiki Some Breakfast,
Then I Went To A Gallery.
What Gallery's Open This Early?
Well, I Made Some Special Arrangements.
I Know The Darlings, Remember?
Yeah, Them. I Remember.
I Wanted To Surprise You And Get Your Painting Back,
But Somebody Else Bought It Already.
And I Want To Apologize For Being Controlling
And Superior...
Juvenile, Obnoxious, A Jackass?
I Think The Word Is Cheap.
I Realized Last Night During My Dinner With Simon Elder That
I'm The One I'm Mad At About Spending The Money, Not You.
I Told You, I Told Myself When I Started This Job
That I Took It To Help People, And I Haven't Done That.
There Are Hungry People, Sick People
Right Here In This City, And I'm... Just Frustrated.
There's Stuff To Be Done In The Real, Troubled World,
And I'm Out Organizing
Birthday Parties And Photo Shoots
And All Sorts Of Crazy...
I'm The One I'm Mad At, Not You.
That's What I Came Here To Say.
Apology Accepted.
(Sighs)
All Right, Rise And Shine. I Got Something To Show You.
(Lisa) How Much Were They?
Oh, Who Cares? You Liked 'Em, And I Love You.
Oh, I Love You, Too. Mm. Mwah.
Thank You. Mm-Hmm.
(Tripp Speaking Swedish)
That Is Swedish,
For You Speak English.
Good Morning.
Don't Worry. He Won't Eat You.
Hey, How About A Smile, Little Guy? Huh?
Come On. You Can Smile.
You're The Luckiest Orphan In The World, You Know?
What? Oh, Is Orphan Not P.C. Anymore?
(Whispers) What Should I Say Instead?
He's Not An Orphan.
Hmm?
Your Brother Brian Is His Father.
(Normal Voice) Oh. Really?
Sorry.
Freddy, Remember, These Men Aren Gods.
They're Just Men.
That Being Said, Make Me Proud.
Right Over Here.
Well, Look Who It Is.
The Estimable Candidate.
Gentlemen, My Future Brother-In-Law Freddy Mason.
Freddy Mason, Holy Cow.
I Was At Firestone In 2005 When You Holed That Chip Shot
On The 18th.
Your Short Game's A Vision. Well, Thank You Very Much.
You Should Put This Titan Up For Membership, Paddy. I Plan To Do Just That.
I, Um...
I Just Wanted To Say I'm Sorry For...
Saying Those Things Last Night,
And, Um...
For... For Getting A Little O.O.C.
O.O. C?
Out Of Control.
Yeah, Well...
I-I Don't Want You To Think I'm Here Apologizing
'Cause I Want The Trust Back, 'Cause I Don't.
So What Is It You Want, A Rocket,
The Hubble Telescope?
I Want A Job.
A Job?
Yeah. I En... I Been Thinking Lately,
And...
I Should Get A Job, Right?
Young Man...
You Have Just Made Me...
Truly Proud.
(Nick) So How Can This Money Help You?
Well, It Cost $9,000 To Install A Playground
So That Kids Have Somewhere To Go.
And We Did A Study Of Inner-City Schools That Shows...
These Playgrounds Cut Down Kids' E.R. Visits By 65%.
Now We Understand How Many People
Must Apply To Your Fund...
But Because Of The Work You've Done In The Past,
We Thought That... Here You Go.
$200,000?
We Were Afraid To Ask For $20,000.
Excuse Me, Nick, Tripp Darling For You On Line One.
Tell Him I'll Call Him Back.
What?
I Said I'll Call Him Back.
Thank You So Much.
You Have No Idea
How Much This Money Can Change Our Organization.
Actually, I Do.
But I'm Giving It To You Anyway.